We live in the most judgemental time known to history. We turn on our phones and judge people we see on social media. We turn on the news and judge our politicians, our destructive behaviours and the state of the world. And then we switch off and tune into the inner voice in our minds that tells us that we are different and separate from every other person and every other experience that we encounter throughout our day.
Never before has it been so acceptable to make consistent judgements against people, places and things and it is draining our happiness. It’s consuming us with its negativity. It’s filling us up with poison from the inside.
The tendency to judge began the moment we were told what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’; ‘good’ or ‘evil’; ‘beautiful’ or ‘ugly’ in the world. Our parents (or another well-meaning caregiver) asserted their own views or preferences on us, making an imprint on our minds that would go on to taint our view of our world forever. Through ongoing social conditioning and reinforcement, these ideas took root and grew into ‘our beliefs’ and ‘our ideologies’, ready for us, in turn to pass on once more to the next generation.
While certain views that are passed from generation to generation in this way aren’t traditionally viewed as overly judgemental and destructive, any view that has the power to separate us from one another, to exacerbate conflict or which carries with it an energy of non-acceptance or complaint, has the power to hold back our individual and collective progress. If the overall goal is for us to work together towards a higher vibrational, more unified and loving world then it’s apparent that work needs to be done.
Starting with some difficult but necessary inner-work on our own mindsets.
I opened up a challenge to my 9,000 Instagram followers at the end of August, to refrain from judgement for forty days. This “judgement detox” saw us working hard on healing the causes of our judgement – both towards ourselves and others, as well as accepting and neutralising others’ judgement of us.
At the core of this challenge was our mantra:
“Everyone is doing the best with what they know and what they have in this moment. I choose to see love instead of this.”
I had this on repeat in my head every day for 40 days. When somebody pushed in front of me in line at the supermarket. When I saw an overly aggressive news title about a particular social situation. When people judged me for things I knew weren’t reflective of who I am. When I judged others for things that I knew were caused by my own pain.
Eventually, I began to see some major shifts. My energy picked up. I was more empathetic. And (this one is massive for me), I stopped worrying so much about what others might be judging me for.
Our deep-dive into our own judgemental behaviours over on Instagram helped me to put together this very simple and easy cheat sheet for overcoming our own judgement:
Call yourself out on your judgements, repeat the judgement detox mantra and let that judgement go.
Remember that whenever we judge something, it’s just a reflection of something we don’t like about ourselves. Do the inner work to get to the bottom of this judgement and what you can change or resolve within yourself.
3. Lose the Ego
What they do is not about you. It’s about them. Drop your ego, and look at the situation from the eyes of your highest, most loving and accepting self.
4. Practice self-love
Non-judgement is one of the most revealing aspects of our level of self-love. The more we love and accept ourselves on a deeper level, the less we will project our lack of love onto others in the form of judgement. If you are struggling with the concept of ‘self love’ and how to get there, then please don’t hesitate to drop me an email to find out how we can work on this together.
5. Step into their shoes
Give yourself a challenge each day that everyone you approach, no matter how you feel, you only having positive and loving thoughts towards that person. See yourself through their eyes, and through the context of their own experience. Feel the inner-calm wash over you as you do so.
6. Practice acceptance
Once you have mastered acceptance of everything that was, everything that is and everything that will be, you have reached true spiritual mastery. Look at life as a blank canvas, assigning absolutely nothing to categories of ‘good’ and ‘bad’.
“It is what it is” may be one of the most annoying sayings out there, but at its heart it actually rings with truth and spirituality!
The great thing about practicing non-judgement is that when you’ve mastered it, you don’t just find that your days are lighter and happier, but you’ll find abundance automatically comes your way. Good things, experiences and people will be attracted to you. You’ll be living a different reality – one which is no longer defined by bitterness and separation, but one which glows with light and love.
So I challenge you to start today! The more that you practice, the easier it will become. Start with your travels and places you go – look at everything through the neutral eyes of non-judgement. Take everything in without labelling it, and you’ll suddenly find you appreciate everything so much more. Then once you’ve tried this skill out on objects and experiences, you can start to tackle people too.
When non-judgement becomes second nature, you’ll start to wonder why we haven’t been living this way all along.