Hello everybody. Rich here, Polly’s fiancé and today’s guest poster! When Polly first asked me if I would be up for being a guest poster on Follow Your Sunshine, I felt very privileged because:
(a) I know how protective she is of the blog (and for good reason – it’s an amazing blog that many of us love reading) but also
(b) she knows me well enough to know I’m going to write a few embarrassing things about her
Well I’m sure she’ll be delighted to read that I’ll try and keep (b) to a minimum and focus more on (a). I’m seeing this blog post as a trust exercise which hopefully I’ll pass!
With this in mind, I thought it would be fitting to write my blog as a reply to one of Polly’s earlier blog posts ‘6 Things I’ve Learnt About…Relationships’ but this time from my perspective.
What could possibly go wrong…
1. LEARN TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER
As a twin, I know I’ve had the benefit of learning how to understand a loved one and getting to know how they feel. The dynamic is delicate. You don’t want to be apart but you also know this time together can be intense so understanding how to complement each other’s lives becomes important.
Part of my job as a TV Producer involves watching a lot of football matches – tough life, I know – and Polly has been very supportive and understanding, often staying up very late to watch them with me.
As I often joke to her:
Well we are getting married, later this year. I hope she knows what she’s got herself into!
2. SEE THE FUNNY SIDE IN EVERYTHING
Polly and I share the same sense of humour…luckily! The moment I realised she found all of my terrible jokes “funny” (is “hilarious” maybe going too far??) was the moment I knew she was a keeper. A silly joke can go a long way when negotiating a tricky conversation subject and, if timed well, a joke can even prevent an argument! (Be warned though: too many “jokes” can also lead to arguments so tread carefully!).
You also need to learn to laugh at the right moments. I remember when Polly and I first started going out. Whilst getting ready for work, Polly sat on the bed and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and asked: “Does this look natural?”
3. IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE THE BIG THINGS WORK
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was a long-lasting relationship. I always try and do something each day to make Polly smile and to reinforce the idea that I’m not a total cretin, like surprising her with a little gift or leaving a note with a nice message. I know these little gestures cumulatively have a big impact. They are simple yet effective.
4. ALWAYS FIND THE TIME TO COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER
The fact that me and that kid share the same name made me laugh. That “advice” probably represented my total lack of knowledge on girls growing up but I’d like to think I’ve upped my game since then! Compliments are very important and can provide an instant lift, especially when it comes from someone you love. Less is definitely more though, otherwise the compliment can complicate and be construed as sarcastic, something which I’ve learned at times!
5. TRAVEL TOGETHER
I think if you ask any couple what their favourite memories are, most of them would refer to a particular holiday or a location where they created great memories. We are no different. We have been fortunate enough to travel to some unforgettable places and are now in the process of booking our honeymoon.
I hope Polly would see me as a perfect travel companion and if she doesn’t, well then she can lug about her separate suitcase with all her toiletries in next time!!!
6. ADMIT YOUR MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM
We will always do things that will infuriate our loved ones – no one is perfect after all – but if you can learn to love, then you can love to learn. After all, as Ernest Hemingway said:
So, those are my 6 Things I’ve Learnt About Relationships. I hope you enjoyed reading them. I’d also like to take this time to thank the many readers who have been so supportive of Polly’s blog. As I’m sure you’d agree, she’s a very talented writer and it makes her very happy to know so many of you enjoy Follow Your Sunshine. Happy reading!
Rich, thank you so much for your, dare I say it, “hilarious” post, and (looking like a truck comments aside) for being so kind! I am sure that took some restraint!
I would like to point out to everybody reading this that Rich sent it through 5 minutes before I posted it and I did not have any input into any part of it (not even that lovely complimentary bit at the end – couldn’t have written it better myself!).
Consider this trust exercise passed Richy! I owe you a drink.